This too shall pass
In the past, I’ve talked about being medicated for an Obsessive Compulsive/Anxiety disorder. I have been on and off of medication for the past 12 years, the last 7 years being the longest, and I felt as though it was time “to stand on my own two feet”.
My routine is solid. I workout 3 times a week with an added yoga class on Sundays, I take my vitamins and drink plenty of water, I eat “sorta” well, I go to bed at the same time each night, and I meditate and breathe routinely.
My headspace was right for this jump and I was ready to take the leap.
I worked my dosage down, and as of February I’m completely off of the medication.
It’s been an interesting few weeks.
The side effects are obtrusive, coming and going as they please without regard to what I’m doing.
It’s hard to explain but every once in a while, more frequently in the beginning, a wave of sensation will run through my body. It’s similar to when you get a cold chill but more like a surge of energy. It will start at my head and runs through to my toes. It’s not ideal but it is also not terrible.
My sleep is erratic.
I’m quick to anger and not give a f**k.
I can be happy and then immediately sad, depressed even, falling into hours of despair.
My energy levels are inconsistent, and I don’t mean that some days I’m full of gusto and others not so much. It’s more dramatic than that, it’s like, I wake up and I’m going about my day when suddenly, without warning, I cannot keep my eyes open. I have to lay down and take a nap. I’m sure it is correlated to not sleeping well.
But, the weirdest part of this whole thing is this; when I’m medicated, I’m missing a piece of me, and when I’m not medicated, I’m missing a piece of me.
Boy did your story ring a bell! I went through the same kind of issues after weaning off of anti-anxiety medications. It wasn’t until a few months later when I accidentally discovered what may have been causing life long anxiety issues – my diabetes numbers were creeping up and I needed to lose more weight – so I went Keto. Basically eliminated sugar and grains. I expected to feel a difference physically, but was blown away by how much better I felt mentally. I’ve been following this way of eating for over 2 years and my panic attacks are gone. I feel calmer and way more focused. I had actually been diagnosed with ADD and even that has improved. I would never say this works for everyone but it sure was a game changer for me. It might be worth a try. You would have to commit for at least a month and ease into it. It takes awhile for your body to adjust to running on different fuel and acclimating to a new lifestyle. If you are interested in more info, I can recommend some authors and bloggers. If not, hang in there and know that a lot of people are in your corner and wish you good health and quiet mind. Blessings.