When I was little

DISCLAIMER! I am in NO WAY saying that hunters are bad people. I am NOT insinuating that if you eat meat you are a bad person. My entire family eats meat including 2 of my 3 children. This is MY experience and only mine. It may upset you. Please do NOT send me cruel, nasty messages, they will be ignored and I will block you. 

My father was a hunter of deer. He was a responsible, considerate hunter. He only took what he needed to feed his family. 

I'll never forget the first time I saw a deer lying dead in our garage, or at least the first that I can recall seeing a dead deer. It was hard for me. As much as I enjoyed eating venison, and I say enjoyed because it was the one meat that I seemed to tolerate the most out of all of the meats especially a slow-cooked roast, and that my dad was not just killing for fun but to actually feed his family, it still broke my heart. 

And I mean, broke my heart.

I was very young. I can remember looking into the deer's eye and it was flat and dark. There was no sparkle, no pain, no joy, no life...just a void. I put my hand on its side and touched the fur, again, there was no warmth, no movement, no "spark"...just a cold stiffness. 

It was a really odd, sad, and empty experience. It had a profound effect on my soul. I know, I know, that sounds way too deep for a young child to experience, but all of these years later I can still see him, smell the air around him, feel his cold body, and lifeless eyes. I can still feel my heart breaking for this magnificent creature that was sacrificed so that I could eat.

I have struggled through the years with growing up in a home that ate meat. I struggled to chew it, swallow it, and the smell of it cooking. I knew what it was, the flesh of an animal, and it never ever sat right with me. 

Today I am a vegetarian. It feels so right to me, it fits who I am. 

I am sorry uwoduhi awhi for your death. I'm going to do my very best to make a better world for your friends and family. 

DISCLAIMER! I am in NO WAY saying that hunters are bad people. I am NOT insinuating that if you eat meat you are a bad person. My entire family eats meat including 2 of my 3 children. This is MY experience and only mine. It may upset you. Please do NOT send me cruel, nasty messages, they will be ignored and I will block you.